A Partial List of Comments and Complaints Made by Arthur Between 11am and 12:30pm Today

1. "Don't let Beatrice wear that shirt, she wore it yesterday."

2. "This ice is too cold."

3. "I don't like the birds' tweeting."

4. "I wouldn't choose this seat."

5. "I don't like lights in trees except at Christmas time."

6. "What is this wall made of, wood? It should be made of bricks."

7. "This paint is not a nice color."

8. [To the barista] "My name is Arthur." 
Barista, smiling: "Oh, that's nice!"
Arthur, sharply: "Write it on the cup."

9. [Looking at the cup skeptically] "He didn't spell my name right.  Those aren't the right letters."

10. [Pointing to the letter "R"] "That's not a letter."

11. "Why is this scone flat? Pastry should not be flat."

12. [After I asked him to clarify a point in a story he told, with a huge sigh] "Never mind.  I said never mind."

13. "Do you see that lady over there? I hate her clothing."

14. "Do these pants have pockets? [pause] I like pockets. You can use them for keys, or leaves, or small broken objects."