More Beatrice and Arthur Quotes, Plus Some Musing on Arthur

 

Dressed for their trip to Alaska

Arthur has given Beatrice quite the run for her money lately in terms of funny quotes. 

Moreover, this new batch of Arthur quotes goes a long way to capturing Arthur's personality, which can be a little hard to pin down. (Setting aside the inherent problems with trying to pin down the core personality traits of someone as changeable as a two-year-old.)  He's a funny kid and full of contradictions (but what toddler isn't?)

On one hand, Arthur is extraordinarily affectionate, physically and verbally. Though friendly with strangers, he is slightly more guarded around new people than Beatrice is. But with his family he is incredibly cuddly, especially with me.  Several times a day, out of the blue, he will fling his arms around my neck, hug and kiss me, and exclaim, "Mommy, I love you so much!"

Arthur loves to sit and look at Pinterest with me.

And he loves Beatrice, even if they have a very fraught relationship full of both extreme love and total fury. In fact, they plan on being roommates as adults, because neither can really imagine living without the other one around.

If B could go to the moon, she would bring Arthur with her.

On the other hand, he hasn't shown much interest yet in playing with children other than Beatrice.  My friend described him as "aloof" with her son of the same age and he can be. I worry a bit because he doesn't seem to play with any of the other kids at school, preferring to play alone or with teachers. Every day I pick him up from school and amidst the chaos of a dozen two-year-olds running and playing and fighting, he is usually sitting alone in the corner in an armchair looking at books.

So far (fingers crossed) Arthur has never been physically aggressive with anyone - no pushing, no hitting - but he is quite verbally aggressive, even mean.  When he's mad, he exclaims, "I hate this!" "This is stupid!" "I quit!" He calls Beatrice "dumb" and "a bad guy."  He also loves saying bad words, just to push the boundaries - every time he drops something now he says, "Damn it!"

He is cute, smart, and good at basically everything, from art to athletics, and the teachers all say he is their favorite.  He's also the youngest (for now) and a boy and I admit I dote on him, too, but the result is that he's pretty full of himself, he's used to always getting his way, and he is hilariously condescending for a two-year-old.

At the same time that he can be impossibly stubborn, demanding, and rude, he is all smiles most of the time.  And he is always labeling his feelings, saying, "I am so happy today!" or "I am feeling sad" or "You are making me disappointed." 

He still loves Boo as much as ever. His second favorite toy is Foxy, the stuffed fox Nani gave him - he calls Boo and Foxy his "kids" and treats them like babies. (He also says he wants to be a stay-at-home dad when he grows up - either that or a turtle.)

Arthur and his "kids" (and a swollen nose from falling down the side door steps)

So in conclusion, he is wonderfully happy, loving, and kind, but also stubborn, vain, and patronizing. And very funny.

But enough pontificating. Some quotes from them both:

ARTHUR

Every morning when I first open the door, Beatrice says something random and crazy, and Arthur says something melodramatic and usually complaining. Some of his recent proclamations have been, "Beatrice broke my bones," "Everything is ruined," and "Boo is dead."

The other day when he was mad at me for denying him something, he also told me, "Mommy, you broke my whole life." 

Other melodrama included him crying over some small disappointment and then say, "Look, Mommy, my eyes look like raining."

He also told me in anger, "Someday when I have a hotel, you can never go in my hotel again!"

And after I moved his blankets trying to wake him up after nap, "Don't ever move this blanket again."

 

Arthur's first knock-knock joke:
Arthur: Knock, knock!
Summer: Who's there?
Arthur: Here's some grass. [Hands me a handful of grass he tore out of Sam and Lilli's front yard.]

Arthur is obsessed with money lately*.  The other day he stole 65 cents from Dev, gave it to me and said, "Here, Mommy, you can go on vacation."

At dinner, "Mommy, I have a hypothesis."
[Dips his fork into his milk glass, tries to drink milk that way.]
"That was my hypothesis. It didn't work, I tested."

After I told him ten times I wouldn't take him to the aquarium that day.
Arthur: Mommy, I have a question.
Summer: Yes?
Arthur: Do you have the red car?
Summer: Yes.
Arthur: Then you can take me to the aquarium.

And the best example of Arthur's constant condescension:
Beatrice asked Dev, "What are theropods?"
Before Dev could answer, Arthur said smugly, "Theropods are dinosaurs! Okay, Daddy, now you try."

BEATRICE

Summer: Would you like some [food, I forget what]?
Beatrice: I adore anything that's light brown!

Beatrice asked me who the Pope was and I told her. After a moment's consideration she said, "I will be a vet, not the Pope. I want a good job."

(She wants to own a 24-hour veterinary ER, but until recently she didn't understand the concept of working in shifts, so she thought she would personally be working there 24 hours a day. Once I explained it, she concluded that instead she would scuba dive all day and be a vet all night.)

Beatrice is always telling Dev to keep his hands on the wheel when driving. The other day she said to him, "Would you only be happy if you are in a crash?!"

"My brain tells me to do art," and later, "I am a great artist! Part of being a great artist is cleaning up after yourself."

And again, after becoming frustrated with something she was trying to draw, "The eyes don't look right! This is a difficult day for me!"

A puppet show

"Why is my heart beating? Is it because my brain is a good boss?"

Dev explained identity theft to Beatrice and she became panic-stricken and demanded, "Why did you tell me that?!"

Recently she said to me, "When I say, 'Do you like my outfit?' you say, 'Absolutely!' Okay, let's practice."

While trying to wake her up after naptime (and note, Beatrice doesn't know how to tell time), "I'm a tired girl. Let me get up at six of the clock."

She also recently wrote a love song, the first line of which is "I am content to you! I will never quit to you!"

And my all-time favorite from this morning, ARTHUR AND BEATRICE:

Arthur, with a big grin on his face: My smoothie is cold, like a polar bear!
Beatrice, flat affect: Computers look like dead gorillas.

At the library playing reading games

* Which is funny because at almost 4.5, Beatrice still has no idea what money is and no interest in learning about it.