A Doctor Who Pushes

I know it's silly to try and write down all the funny things the kids say each day, but I can't help but want to catalogue some of their best quotes, especially those that illustrate their personalities so well.  And so without further ado...

ARTHUR

Arthur asked me for some cookies and I told him there weren't any.

Arthur: Check the cookie jar.
Summer: I did, there aren't any cookies.
Arthur: Then why don't you make me some?
Summer: Mommy is sick, she doesn't feel like baking right now.
Arthur: Is Daddy sick?
Summer: No.
Arthur: Then Daddy can make me some cookies.

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Arthur, getting ready to go to an event at the public library: "Will everyone like me? Will they think I'm beautiful?"

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Arthur has started using "pretending" as an excuse to do things he isn't allowed to do - for instance, I'll tell him he's not allowed to stand on the furniture and he'll say, "But I'm pretending to be a bird!"

The other day I told him not to pull on Beatrice's arm: "But I'm a pulling bear!"
And after pushing his sister: "I'm a doctor who pushes."

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"I want a monkey as my pet, I want to buy a wife, I want to drink paint."

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"When I grow up I want to be a daddy, a mommy, a paleontologist, and a baby."

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Arthur is such a good liar he sometimes fools me.  For example, the other day he was complaining that he had dropped his stick while sitting in the backseat.

Summer: I'm sorry, Arthur, I can't reach it while I'm driving, I'll get it for you at our destination.
Arthur: Okay, Mommy. [A minute later] Mommy, I had a potty accident!
Summer: You did?
Arthur: I did, Mommy! I had an accident! Stop the car!

Summer pulls over and discovers he's perfectly clean.

Summer: You didn't have an accident.
Arthur: Oh, that's right, I guess. But since you're not driving, you can hand me my stick.

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Beatrice was looking at a book Arthur wanted, so he turned to me and said loudly, "Mommy, I love Beatrice. She is so nice, she always shares, even books..."

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Arthur is still the most charming, smoothest talker you'll ever meet, always telling me that I'm beautiful, etc. He likes to say to me, "I'm through and through for you, Mommy."
And at Christmas, "Mommy, you are my present."

No wonder no one can say no to him...

BEATRICE

Looking at an early ultrasound of William as a tiny white dot: "It looks like you swallowed a star."

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One of Beatrice's jobs is keeping an eye on William in the backseat when I'm driving.

Beatrice: Mommy, William spit up!
Summer: What does it look like?
Beatrice: It looks like a snowstorm.
Summer: I mean, is it clear, or bubbly, or what?
Beatrice: It looks like snow fall.  It looks like sick clouds.

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Explaining the game "Waterfish Tag" to Arthur: "No, no, it's not Tag, it's different! In Tag you say, 'You're it!' In Waterfish Tag you say 'You're waterfish!'"

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After sneezing: "Excuse me! My white blood cells don't like to work."

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I held out a box and told Beatrice, "I have a present for you!"
Beatrice (delightedly): It's a box!

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I told the kids they could each bring one plastic dinosaur to the park. Beatrice emerged from her bedroom with two: "This one is for me, and this one is in case I meet a friend."

Then she decided she would hold the dinosaur behind her back, introduce herself to the friend first, and then whip the dinosaur out from behind her back and present it as a surprise. On the drive to the park she practiced the long introductory speech she was going to make to her new friend. 

Once we got to the park, she went up to another little girl, stood in front of her with the dinosaur behind her back, launched into her speech, and then thrust the dinosaur in the little girl's face. The little girl took the dinosaur and walked away without saying a word. Poor Beatrice.

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Drawing a picture of unicorns running: "These unicorns are not running away from predators; they are running for exercise."

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Discussing one of Dr. Seuss' fictitious animals: "I wouldn't want a Yink for a pet because he would drink all our ink.  On the other hand, they are imaginary."

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Leaning over William, she shouts loudly, "Dinosaurs don't have tummy time!"

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Beatrice also wrote a long (long) Christmas carol this year called "Christmas Jellyfish Sleepover."