Arthur Gets Schooled

Three recent stories of Beatrice putting Arthur in his place:

1.) The other day Beatrice made a huge mess in her room and I told her she had to clean it up. She said that Arthur should have to help her clean, and I explained that he was too young to know how to put his toys away.

Six or seven hours later, Arthur stood on his own and took a few small steps. Beatrice saw him and exclaimed, "Yay, Arthur, you can stand up by yourself! You are such a big boy! . . . Now you can help me clean the room."

2.) Today Beatrice was "reading" a book aloud by reciting all the text on each page. I said to Arthur, "Look, Arthur, what a smart sister you have."

"Arthur's not smart," Beatrice said.

"That's not true," I said, "Arthur is smart."

"He's not smart in talking," she said. "Maybe he's smart in crying."

3.) Beatrice is in love with our broken-down Saturn (I think because it has a sunroof) and always talks about how it will be her car someday when she's older. The other day she said, "Someday I can have the Saturn."

"That's right," I said, "and you can drive around town in it, but you have to take your brother to the mall with his friends."

"What friends?" she asked. "Arthur doesn't have any friends."

So true, Arthur, so true.